Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Pubic Hair: A Feminist Rant

Hey Team,

Ok, so I need to rant for a minute. (You might want to run and hide- and excuse all typo's and grammatical mistakes made in rage type.)

Totally off topic, but I mean seriously??? What is it that makes men think they can just go off expressing their opinions about a woman's pubic hair like it's no big deal at all? Like we give a shit? Or more importantly, like they have a relevant opinion or even a right to have one!?!?

I have had an all-natural untamed bush, been waxed with a landing strip, waxed bare, shaved bare, stubble, trimmed, some growth, and "I just don't give a fuck right now," all in the time that I've had this blog. And during every single one of those states, I have had men express to me how they wish I would have it a different way. That I would like it better the other way if I just tried it. That their way was so superior. That I just didn't understand! (that's my favorite!)

And it's always the same arguments against them too.
Let me break it down:

Bare:
"It's rough against my face when I go down on her."
Yes, because I'm sure that your sandpaper face felt awesome on her lips.

Full:
"It's gross when I go down on her."
And your pubes are so appealing. And I mean really, this girl is letting you stick your face in her vagina- why are you complaining again???

Bare:
"She looks like a child."
You clearly don't understand female anatomy, and I'm concerned about the number of children's vagina's you've seen.

Full:
"It looks unkempt"
Yes, because keeping one's natural germ barrier intact is really unkempt of you.

Bare:
"It's not as artistically sound or appealing."
Factually inaccurate. (See picture) Yeah, that's some hardcore bush there.

Full:
"It's not as pretty because she doesn't look like the girls from the videos I've been watching."
*head-desk* Are you serious right now? I can't. *walks away*

Bare
"Well it's nice to know that the carpet matches the drapes."
Ohmygod did you really just say that? You did? Ok. Because her eyebrows, eyelashes, arm hair and general complexion couldn't give that away? And regardless, you care why?

Either:
"I just prefer girls with xyz."
Well good for you!

And you are telling me that your preference is the opposite of what I have why? Your preference is your preference. It's my vagina. Stop telling me how you would like me to have it for you. I bet you would also like for me to spread my legs so you could insert yourself inside of me. Also not going to happen. But you have the better sense at least not to tell me that, or say it in that tone that implies such authority on the matter because you don't want to get bitch slapped.

It's like if you're on a date and the dude was like,
"I prefer redheads, will you dye your hair?" you'd probably reply,
"fuck off asshat."
How about you just prefer me and whatever I have at this moment? And how about you get over yourself and thinking that a woman should or would change her preference to please you.

When photographers tell me they wish I had a bush, it drives me nuts. Because others will tell me how much they like it shaved. But so many art photographers just tell me over and over and over, and I just want to be like "shut the fuck up and stop sexually harassing me!" Because honestly that's what it feels like. Its the same bullshit as the "well she posed like that so you should too. Come on, it won't hurt you to pose like that. Everyone's doing it. Just spread your legs for me." You wouldn't (or if you do you fucking shouldn't) continually go after a girl in a bar telling her that she Should go home with you after she's told you no multiple times would you? It's not manly, it's not macho. It's pathetic, and honestly scary when it happens.

So when someone decides to take it upon themselves to constantly express there distaste for my choice in pubic hair one way or the other, I really just feel violated, aggravated, and like I really miss feminism. I want my choice to have or not to have a bush to be MINE and not yours. But mostly, I want you to stop thinking that you get to express your opinion to me on the subject. I want you to stop assuming that I will change it for you. That I should change it for you. I want for that thought to NEVER AGAIN enter your mind. I want you to love every fucking pussy that comes along, hairy or bald, and thank the good lord above that you're even getting to see it.

I have been with women with and without a bush. And you know what? I never once thought one way or the other. I have an opinion on my own pubic hair and how I like it. But other women's? Their fucking choice! And I have been turned on by every woman I've been with. (that's kinda the point I suppose)

So get the fuck over yourself. So you have an opinion? Good for you. I really, really don't want to hear about it.

xoxo
Princess Kelley


23 comments:

  1. you go girl!! it's ours, we should be able to have it however we want...and if they don't like it, they can just...oh i don't know...not get laid. *gigglesI*

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't necessarily think it's wrong for someone to have an opinion - we all have our different ideas about what we find appealing, and the usual 'turn on/turn off' aspect of those preferences, but that doesn't give anyone the right to tell you how they think you ought to look. Ultimately, the rule I'd go with is this: it's fine to have an opinion, but unless you've actually asked for it, there's no reason why anyone should share their preference with you, much less insist that you groom yourself in a particular way.

    After all, it's your body. What you do with it is *entirely* your business, and nobody else's.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. I think my point was more about not understanding where a guy gets off *telling* me what his opinion is, especially when it's in conflict with what I have. And they tend to do it so casually too. Like saying so has no effect on me at all. And the privilege in that just pisses me off!
      Glad you liked the post. :)

      Delete
  3. A brilliant rant, Princess. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dammit!

    Where is the "I like this" button?!?

    Thank you soooo much for writing and sharing this...

    Love it more than I can eloquently express!

    From,
    Brandi_D on FetLife

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! I often find myself longing for "like/love" buttons on sites other than fetlife and facebook.
      Thanks for reading, and commenting! Glad you liked it.
      Hugs
      Kelley

      Delete
  5. Princess, whatever you want, grow, or do is your choice. If you are happy that's what counts. For me, I enjoy just the joy of seeing you.

    Guzziman on Fetlife

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  6. I just wanted you to know that there is at least one person in this world who doesn't have a strong opinion regarding your pubic hair or indeed lack thereof. ;) It's nobodys business but yours anyway.

    Best wishes from Iceland

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL. Well I'm glad!
      Hugs!
      PS. Iceland??? So cool. Really want to visit there.

      Delete
  7. As a photographer, I say just be yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :) That's my plan.
      Thanks for commenting!
      Hugs

      Delete
  8. Men are a bit stupid sometimes, aren't they?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL. So stupid.
      Well said, just very well said.
      :)

      Delete
  9. Wow its GREAT to see the old Kelley back. Fire brimstone and all. It pained me to see how down on yourself you were. Hope you continue to see all the wonderful possibilities there are for you out there.

    Jay

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  10. At least in your shaven state it seems nobody asked "Do you still have crabs?"

    John

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  11. In my experience most intimate partners have asked what my preference is... and then I have offered my thoughts without including a criticism of the other choices. It is the unsolicited "bare makes you look like a 10 year old girl" or "hair makes it gross/unclean" that really can cause an issue.

    btw, while not near as common... some women will express very direct opinions about their preference for circumcised or uncircumcised and do so in a way that isn't so nice to those that don't fall within their preference. Can happen with penis size too.

    :)
    ~Todd

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  12. How about a selection of good merkins? Win-win for everyone involved.

    As a man who likes solving problems, i just thought i'd add that.

    ~DrRuth (FL)

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  13. I would just say that you are so spectacular that I wouldn't care if you had colored it three different colors ! I would just be ready for my 16 hours down below ! LOL

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  14. Nothing to do with feminism. If it's so hard to do don't do it, but if you want to please your partner then do it, Fuck your feminism straw man. Pubic grooming has nothing to do with feminism. Don't drag the rest of us down with your insecurity.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I love being shaved, and my man loves it too. I don't see how that makes me un-feminist.

    ReplyDelete