Who the hell am I?
I'm a 24 year old girl who is still trying to figure out what to call herself now that after a year I'm not sure "recent college graduate" fits anymore. My degree is in art history, but I currently run my own vanilla business in education. Definitely fit the description of "20 something year old who is trying to figure out how the hell this whole "life" thing works."
I am a spanko, not a slave. I am not owned by anyone other than myself. However, I've been exploring the full BDSM lifestyle more regularly lately, and must say, I like it quite a bit.
I would really love a man who is single, handsome (tall), a spanko by birth and interested in a DD lifestyle, who is intelligent, cultured and successful in the vanilla world as well. I'm looking for a man who will respect me and treat me well. Who doesn't think that monogamy is a scary thing, and realizes that sleeping around is cheating. I need a man who can handle me at my most neurotic and crazy, because there is no one like me when I'm at my best. I love with my entire being, and I want to be with someone who is worthy of the trust and the part of myself that I will give to them.
My thoughts on Spanking
These are a couple of quotes from my all time favorite fanfiction author, Larkin, who writes the most amazing Lord of the Rings spanking fiction. Her stories were very monumental to me and I believe were crucial in the formation of my feelings as the relate to spanking. I frequently quote the first one. Plus she just writes so damn well! lol (her stories are m/m but I have changed some of the pronouns to fit me- I hope she doesn't mind!)
A spanking is not meant to diminish. It is meant to nourish. The unspoken message conveyed to anyone over a knee is, 'I care about you. I am not indifferent to your need, your guilt, your loneliness. I will not walk away. You will not be passed over or ignored. I see you, and I care enough to discipline you.'
Most of all [she] yearned for this closeness, the position and the feeling of attention and worthiness, the love from a figure of authority. I marveled, as I often did, that this simple act carried so much power. [She} was drawing what she needed from it, as we all did, each in their own fashion. To be forced into a situation so overwhelming, forced by a loving hand into a rare and delicious place of protected helplessness . . . ahhh, it warmed and thrilled, each searing spank ripping through the body, leaving you exhausted and softened, stricken, and yet always, always sheltered, watched over, loved.
"But you will never escape my notice, [darling]. When you need my attention, you will be given it. When your mutinous air resurfaces, and rest assured, my unruly fledgling, it will, I promise you this: I will never think less of you for it. Nor for any other headstrong acts. Neither will I ignore the matter, nor cast you from my affections, nor make you live with your guilt. You will be attended to, just as you have been here, and then all will be forgiven and forgotten." I paused and grinned. "Until the next time."
