Thursday, December 31, 2009
I'm currently still just on cloud nine from the Spanking Spot interview and the wonderful comments I've recieved on here and on his site. (Unfortunately though, my Nana and Papa were so excited too and wanted to read it, and they Loved everything...except the bit about me saying how much I wanted to model...Papa's not so keen on his little girl doing spanking videos...but he said he's "open to the conversation" so that's good).
This whole thing has also kinda sucked me back into the spanking scene/industry scene which I have been out of for a while, and its kinda fun! Everyone is just so wonderful! I think I might be able to convince papa to let me do it ONCE, for the experience. I want to meet all the people, and get to film and just all the fun things. And once I start going to parties I'll meet more people too and get to play. lol, it feels a bit like the "popular crowd" and I just want to be a part of it. :)
But anywho, back to what I was talking about. I have to write this quickly as Nana and Papa are in a meeting at the hospital and I'm supposed to be finishing the first of two papers that I've been working on since finals started a month ago (and my teacher SOO kindly let me do over break) and if Papa catches me... my butt is TOAST! And I already got a paddling today :(( and it HURT! So lets keep my bottom atleast just pink for the moment.
But for the new year, I thought maybe it'd be fun to do my top 7 favorite posts that I've done, since I'm probably having some new visitors to my site, and just for those who haven't had a chance to go through all the archives. So I guess these are in order...but I suck at being decisive so let's just say I like them all. :)
(note: WOW I forgot about half the things I've written! holy crap!)
Honorable Mention: My First Spanking video- because I know its most people's favorite, though as far as posts go, it wasn't exactly strenuous.
7: An Interesting Email- I actually still get this question a lot. How do you meet your spankers and how can I find a partner? Well here was my response.
6: Deal with it (Parts 1-4)- a fun spanking story, and one of the only mutli parters I've finished.
5: The Spanking Industry: Becasue I've been watching it since I was 10- I got a lot of great response from this post, and I really loved it. If I were to update it, I would inlcude a new found love of Firm Hand- Great site! Omg, well my love of Samantha Woodley should make that obvious, and this summer I went gaga for her Domestic Discipline series.
4: Implements: Because a Spanking is not supposed to hurt the spanker- Another post I got great response for, and one that I worked really hard on, so this happens to be a post I'm quite proud of.
3: I LOVE PANTIES!!!!- B/c I really really do. :)
2: Anal Beads Rock- This was an easy choice to pick. I think I almost came just writing it.
1: The life of a Secret Keeper- Again, and easy choice. One of the most serious posts I've ever written (other than following Mommy's death and my breakup) but I am very proud of this post, and if I could, I would use it for school.
So Yay! My countdown is over. Now I want to hear from you! What were your favorite posts? Do you agree with my rankings? Anything get left out? And most importantly, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE NEW YEAR!?!?! Happy New Year everyone. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be safe. No drinking and driving, and just remember to make good life choices. :)
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Just in case ya'll didn't do the math, I was 10 when y2k happened and so I went through all of middleschool and highschool and half of college in the 00's, and it has been a crazy decade with the most intense ups and downs. I started watching porn around 2000 so its probably fitting that I have a pornographic inteview to start 2010.
So I also am going to answer the questions a few of ya'll emailed me, and I hope that you enjoy both the interviews (and accompaning photos) and that everyone has a happy and SAFE new year.
1. Would you or have you done any videos? Would you ever do one(or more)? I have not done any professional videos, but I have done just some fun videos with past boyfriends/daddies and one of them is posted on SpankingTube (the link is on the side). I would definitely be up for doing more.
2. Have you ever received any other discipline methods other than spanking? I.e. Mouth soaping, enema, et cetera... Thoughts? Sigh, Nana is going to wash my mouth out. Currently we're doing "imagined" soaping with real spankings, and when I get to her she's goign to do it for real. It scares me A LOT so she won't make me do it myself or until she can hold me in her arms.
Obviously I've experienced the basic- cornertime, grounding, etc- and I've also had a butt plug used as punishment, and exposure used as punishment (though that was more fun than punishment ;) ). I'm not a fan of enemas at this stage of the game.
3. Would you ever consider becoming a spanking model or doing any professional discipline style media? Yes- if he doesn't post the full version answer to this question, I will here.
4. Ever been spanked by a Canadian? Would you ever want to? *winks* lol Haha, no I have not, though one of my first spanking friends in the scene was Canadian. Have I expressed my thoughts here on the surprisingly large number of Canadian spankos? Maybe its just that I don't know any other Canadians.
5. when punished, do you cry easily? Getting actual wet tears from me is close to impossible without physically beating me (which has happened) or starting with me crying. But getting me to "Sob" and feel that cry and release is pretty easy. If I'm in a certain headspace, I can take a monster spanking without a single sniffle, but in the right headspace, I can be a sobbing repenant mess after a dozen firm hand spanks.
I'm sorry if I missed anyones questions. I'll be happy to keep this as a running list and answer any more that I recieve :) Love ya'll!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Oh, and this is a wonderful poem that I just recieved in an email from Spank Amber that a member had sent. I love it and I hope ya'll enjoy.
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the town
Her pleas could be heard as her panties came down.
"Oh Santa, dear Santa, don't spank me, I pray!
I'll be ever so good, starting right from today!"
But Santa just chuckled, "I've heard that before
From many a bad girl with bottom so sore
As she wriggles and squirms 'neath his hand's hearty sting.
But a promise like that - why, it means not a thing.
What matters, dear One, as you'll very soon see
Is that you should be spanked across Santa's broad knee
Till your sassy bare bottom is burning bright red!"
And with that, the old fellow did just as he'd said,
And proceeded to spank her with all of his might
Till her yelps echoed loud in the cold frosty night,
And each swat, ringing out like a loud pistol shot,
Turned her soft, round bottom increasingly hot.
Then, when she'd been hand-spanked with many a smack,
The jolly old fellow reached into his sack
He produced a fine paddle of well-seasoned wood.
"Now, this is the thing that makes naughty girls good."
He remarked with a grin. "And I think you'll soon find
How effective it feels on a soft, tender behind!"
"Oh please, Santa! No more!" she cried in dismay,
But the paddle cracked down without further delay,
And despite all her protests and wailings and shrieks
It soon deepened the blush on her squirming, rear cheeks.
Poor Dear how she wriggled but all was vain,
For the paddle descended again and again
Till her bouncing bare bottom was sizzling and sore
And as red as the costume that Santa Claus wore.
But at last he relented allowing her to rise,
Hugged her warmly while wiping the tears from her eyes,
And murmuring, "There, it's all over, my dear!"
Rubbing soothing cool cream on her blazing, hot rear.
Then he exclaimed, "Well Miss, your sweet bottom so curved
Has had the sound spanking it so richly deserved.
From now on, I'm sure, I don't need to explain,
If you're good then I shan't have to spank you again.
But if you are naughty - remember, my dear,
That Santa keeps watch for the whole of the year!"
Then smiling, he shouldered his bulging big sack,
And sent her away with a crisp farewell smack.
So she hurried to bed with satisfaction you know,
With a song in her heart and her bottom aglow
And a sense that all manner of things were all right.
But she slept facing down on her tummy that night.
PS. My Nana and Papa just lost their daughter two days ago. She was killed in a car crash along with her husband and daughter. Their 9 year old son wasn't in the car. Now, I'm not a particularly religious person (very spiritual but not religious) but I would ask that anyone that could, in the holiday spirit, pleas pray for my Nana and Papa and their two other daughters and that poor little boy. I love them so much. They are my mommy and daddy and its just so hard to see them hurt like this. Thanks :)
PSS. My interview with the Spanking Spot should be up either next week or the week after. I'll keep you posted :)
Friday, December 18, 2009
So this is me using this as both my diary and my blog. I just need to get this out so badly so I’m writing it, and once again I find myself so grateful for this outlet and this opportunity and all the support I have received.
I’m supposed to be working on a term paper right now that was due 2 days ago and I got an unofficial extension on because my teacher loves me and I am struggling still so much to get all caught up. I took my last “final” today, but I still have 3 papers, a term paper, and a presentation left to do in the next couple days. Oh yeah and move out, which just brings up SO many emotions.
And then the computer where nana and Papa and my little sister are lost internet so I had some time like actually to myself and I thought, hey lets make use of this. I mean I love being their little girl more than anything in the world and they accept me for exactly who I am- all parts of me. But they can’t fulfill the sexual parts of me and for the first time in a while I’m really feeling like I just need some attention in that way! I am a sexual girl. But since I’ve gone on my anti-anxiety meds in the summer I just haven’t been the same. I recently actually upped my does (from what was a tiny amount to a normal amount) b/c I was having panic attacks again, even though we were worried about having more sexual side effects, but my sex drive has actually increased, which we think is a sign that the problems were actually a symptom of my anxiety/depression/grief.
But I’m nowhere NEAR where I am supposed to be. If there is one thing on this earth that I am good at it is cumming God Damnit! Ask any man that I’ve been with- even those just over the phone. After cumming 18 times in 45 minutes with a guy on the phone once I literally left him speechless! I KNOW HOW TO CUM! And yet, what has just happened?
Well what happened was I got my toy out- put new batteries in half way through- and started watching a short clip from domesticdiscipline (SIN) that I know I like and is really sexy (which I like when masterbating- I like punishment for just enjoyment and foreplay, but I find it distracting during the actual act). And I got turned on for sure, was hitting all the right spots. I had my towel under me so I wasn’t nervous about making a mess (I squirt, and no it is not awesome). And I was peaking but not getting there! And then of course getting frustrated. I finally turned off the video and just did it, but they were baby cums. Nothing to scream about, no back arching, no earth shattering, no need to do the next and the next.
Sigh. Maybe its just the stress of finals.
So then I’m laying there on my back, naked, rolling my little lipstick vibrator up and down my stomach down to my hips and up to my ribs, and just thinking about stuff. I suddenly felt the urge to upload this video that Edward and I made this time last year (literally possibly to the day this time) on SpankingTube, and that made me feel good for like 10 seconds. And then I thought, why would I do that? You haven’t even talked to Edward in like 2 months, Kelley, and you’re just going to post a private video that you haven’t asked him about? What is wrong with you?
And then that made me think of something else totally random but related.
So as I mentioned in my post a few days ago, I’m obsessed with the Kardashians. And as I’m sure those of you who don’t live under a rock know, Khloe Kardashian just married Laker’s player Lamar Odom a few months ago after only knowing each other for a month. They just recently started airing the footage of them meeting and falling in love, and I would just like to say that I have it all figured out.
Khloe is beautiful, but she is the younger sister of Kim Kardashian, and Khloe is the tallest and the heaviest, so I doubt she’s ever felt beautiful in her life. She’s never had a good boyfriend before b/c she’s known for kinda self sabotaging the situation. Then comes Lamar who genuinely seems to love her, and they both seem a bit insecure. But every moment he is telling her the things about her he loves, how she is so beautiful, and how she will be the best wife. And you can see the joy, as Khloe actually starts to believe that in herself.
So I’ve figured me out. And women like me. Those of us that fall hard and fast and don’t do it any other way. Everyone just wants to be loved, but those of us that don’t necessarily love ourselves are often so shocked to find that others do, and the emotion and power and passion that can come with that is indescribable. My new psychiatrist (meds person, same therapist- love her!) doesn’t know about all of me, but she was so impressed when she found out that I’d beaten bulimia (you don’t “quit” bulimia, it’s a disease. You beat it.) and I explained to her that it wasn’t me. Well part of it was, but most of it was laying naked on a bed with the man that I loved standing across the room just staring at me b/c HE thought I was perfect just the way I was.
So maybe the reason I wanted to post that video (and I still might after I talk to him) was because I’ve just been feeling really inadequate lately and this not being able to cum thing was just one more thing. I’ve spent my life being a student. I go to one of the most prestigious universities in the country! I have ALWAYS made it happen and I have accomplished almost everything that I have ever set out to do. And its really feeling like this time its just not going to happen. Even if I get everything finished and turned in, it won’t be my best work, and I just don’t like that feeling.
And also I stupidly got on a scale at a doctors visit a few weeks ago, and there have been some very unflattering photos of me on facebook from parties around all these thinner but still curvy in all the right places girls that next to I just look like a whale. And I don’t have a man anymore telling me I’m beautiful. I finally have “parents” that do (my actual parents are the opposite) but somehow it just doesn’t have that impact.
And I feel like I’ve let so many people down. I haven’t kept up with my blog, or my friends on here. I still haven’t sent photos to BrushStrokes over at the SpankingSpot who was so wonderful to do that interview of me, and I just…somebody tell me I’m beautiful please. Someone tell me that you like my blog still even though I don’t have a boyfriend or sexy stories or new and exciting photos all the time.
Somebody please just tell me I’m enough.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
1. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I have SOOOO much work! I'm pretty much doing 80% of my semester in this past week and this coming week do to all the illnesses I've had and Mommy's death. So you can understand what I mean by A LOT of work, this is my last week:
- Paper, Presentation, quiz, paper, MASSIVE presentation, Final exam, Final exam.
- Presentation, Test, Paper, Workbook, Final exam, Final research paper, Paper, Paper, Move out
Now lets compare last week and this week to the entirety of my semester:
- 6 Quizzes, 1 test, 1 paper, 2 midterms, one poem, and various homework assignments
So I think by that you can see why I sadly have not been able to be on here much. So now what follows are various thoughts of mine that I have/have been having.
- I studying abroad in Europe next semester and along with all the OMG excitement comes quite a lot of anxiety and nervousness both about being there and about what I'm leaving behind while I'm gone.
- Oh, and that also means that I have to move out of my dorm. Something I've never fully had to do before- and certainly not by myself! AHHHH!!!! I barely have time to breath, let alone pack!
- I've missed ya'll. Like you don't even know.
- Ok, my yahoo messenger is up constantly, literally 24/7 almost b/c i'm on with my baby and nana and papa who sleeps with me on (the baby so she feels safe, and nana and papa so they know i'm safe- my baby has been in the hospital for the last few weeks by the way...it was really scary for a while...but she should be ok). SOO that being said, if you message me on Yahoo and I don't get back to you I promise I am NOT ignoring you! I am probably either not at my computer or I just dont' notice it b/c i'm on the call with them. I am SOOOO sorry to anyone who feels I have been rude to, and to those who I have been rude to and to the relationships I have negleted.
- Ok, SpankoLife...I was going to write a post on it like this past summer... I was really really good friends with the founder. I actually was like the 3rd memeber and my ass was at one point the logo. But I have trouble keeping up with facebook as it is...and then he and I had a falling out of sorts, and I just haven't been back. So if you sent me a message or a friend request, do not fear, i have not logged on in literally 5 months! I will go in over Christmas and try to accept all the requests and all of that, but that will never be the best way to get in touch with me.
- I will answer interview questions- thank you to those that sent them in! On my flight home on Monday at the latest so I will have that up soon.
- OH! My computer died over thanksgiving- another reason that I have been MIA (and brushstrokes, if you're reading, that's why you haven't gotten those photos for my interview yet *hangs head in shame*). But everything has been recovered thankfully and I freaking LOVE my new computer!!!!!! Its a Lenovo ideapad with WINDOWS 7!!!! Its like God came down and handed someone Windows 7 and said here is my gift unto you! lol. Needless to say, I love it. :)
- The title of this post comes from Lady Gaga's new Christmas Song. Youtube it or download it. Listen, love, and think of me and smile :) Pretty please :)
- I NEED A SPANKING! Like one I get from someone else, not directed self spanking. But I don't mean punishment. I get that. Nana and Papa do an amazing job. I feel contained and loved and safe. I mean I need someone to give me a naughty good girl spanking and then fuck me hard until I scream! lol....so some of my sex drive is back :) lol. That being said, that does not mean I need a man. Would I love to be in love again? Absolutely. Do I have the time or energy? No. :( And I'm sorry to those readers here who miss my lovers stories and my boyfriends, but this is the life of me, a college student, just going through life. I'm going to have to be single sometimes.
- Oh, and on that same note, my Nana and Papa are NOT a fantasy. They are as REAL as you and I and there love for me is unending. Just because we are long distance and we have to be creative sometimes, doesn't make them less than my family. Oh, and yes, :) it is SOOOO amazing knowing that they think it is perfectly normal for their little girl to get her bottom spanked at bedtime when she's naughty :).
- Betsy at the Party- the girl I have a crush on, this redheaded freshman in my singing group has the BEST ass in the whole planet, and I got to grab and swat it a bit last Friday when she was massively drunk. God it is the most perfect ass on the entire planet. I'm so glad I'm a woman that I could just grab at it a bit and die on the inside and not have the whole world knowing by a tent in my pants! Lol. haha, boys suck.
- Jonathon you need to message me! I miss you!
- I love you all and Papa is scolding that I need t get back to work.