Monday, March 30, 2009

A Wonderful Weekend..and More Waiting

Hey team,
So I had a wonderful weekend full of love and spanking that I am excited to tell you all about this but right now I have to go study, but I will fill you in super soon, I promise!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Lying is Really Really Bad

I am absolutely TERRIFIED right now. I am in SOOOOO much trouble. I just confessed to Daddy about all of the fibbing, bending of truth, hiding of truth, and straight up lying that I've been doing lately and I am in SOOOO much trouble. And I am scared shitless.

I havent' fully explained that horrible punishment, so it might not be that clear, but that was one of the worst punishments i've ever heard of anyone recieving, and when you add all of my things up, its WAY worse. I mean there are atleast 2 things on the list that are going to result in spankings as bad as that one (the lying itself and an instance of direct disobedience that was already on my list) and then there are probably 6 that are Very severe spankings atleast, and then another 7 or so that are just Bad.

As Daddy says, this is going to be really really bad, and I should be scared. I will not be sitting down for quite some time.

And if I ever lie again? "If you ever lie to me again Kelly, it'll be atleast 4 hours straight and afterwards just sitting will be enough to make you cry."

I feel sick....I have to go work....I'm so upset about abusing Daddy's trust. I deserve what I recieve, but that doesn't mean I'm not absolutely horror struck. And I am not normally one who ever understood the saying about waiting be the worst part. I understand. Its not going to be until Saturday at the earliest that any of this is resolved.

I need a hug.


Sunday, March 22, 2009

A Very Red Bottom

Hey ya'll. I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has commented lately and been so supportive of me. It really has meant a lot.

I just had one of the best days with John that he and I have ever shared together. He was the guy that I fell in love with again. And all the drama, all the pain, it just seemed so.... strange. Not silly. I can still feel it, and its still hard somedays, but I love him more than anything, and I'm not about to give him up.

So now, that being said, he is still my Daddy, and there are some times that maybe I don't want to see him. Lol. That's not true actually. Not at all. But there are definitely times that I don't want a spanking! Not a bad girl one anyway. And unfortunately for me, due to all of the drama, and trying to just feel happy with each other again, a lot of my big punishments have gotten pushed back, and set aside, while the list seems to keep growing. And its growing not with little things but with BIG doozy, major spanking type things.

Unlike Edward, John doesn't just lump everything that I've done since I last saw him into one really really big spanking, but rather each little thing that I did is its own Really big spanking! So I'm not going to be sitting well for probably the next month or so!

The picture is from Saturday, when I recieved a pretty severe punishment for my constant bratty behavior (foot stopping, eye rolling and the like). That's a difficult thing for me...and I'm not sure how I feel about getting such a harsh punishment for it- I never mean any harm- but Daddy has no qualms about making his feelings quite clear. The spoon, hairbrush, and 20 with the punishment strap later I was a sobbing, teary eyed, remorseful little girl, promising that third time was a charm! (Yeah...ok, so that was the 3rd time I'd been punished for the same thing that maybe I did deserve it...but it still really hurt! *pout, stomps foot* hmph! :( )

Now, as bad as that seems, its NOTHING compared to the punishment I got a couple weeks ago that resulted in those bruises from a couple posts ago. I know I promised to write about it, and I really really want to, but I just promised Daddy that I would read Psychology, and I need all the brownie points I can get at this rate. So for now I'll just have to tell you that the other spanking consisted of spoon, spatula, cane, hairbrush, bathbrush, cane, and spoon again. Full spankings with each. Intrigued? Terrified? Both? lol, details will come soon, I promise. And I think I'll re-write that post I was doing on exposure when all the badness happened. B/c Daddy is just so good at making me feel naked- and that is really hard to do- and so I just feel the need to write about it.

Love ya'll and hope that everyone had a wonderful weekend! Wish me luck with midterms this week. I'm going to need it!


Princess Kelly

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

An Interesting Email

Helloooo out there. :)

So I'm supposed to be studying right now, but I just got my computer back after it died on me a few days ago, and I just feel obligated to use it. :) lol.

I just recieved an interesting email from someone I don't know asking me about like how to market themselves as a spanker to college girls. And I wrote him this very long response only to have it sent back to me as undeliverable :(. *Pout*. So, I thought, hey, it's an interesting topic, and I've been asked similar questions by men before, why not post the answer on your blog where he found you? So that's what I'm doing.

He is looking to be provide structure in the lives of college girls like myself who aren't doing as well as they should be, or are simply feeling astray, because of a lack of structure and accountablity. This of course, is a cause dear to my heart. Now, I have no idea if this person is a creeper or a genuinely nice guy, but I felt compelled to respond. Especially to the question of "you don't advertise directly on campus right...or do you?"

This whole thing is highly amusing to me mainly b/c its been a running joke with me and Edward since last summer, back when he was still the only man in my life, and the only one to ever have spanked me. As I've said on here before, I am very interested in spanking another girl (and probably switching with her as well) and that is something that I have not yet gotten to do (pout). But Edward and I made profiles on personal ad sites in order for me to find a girl. I still have them up, and while they are geared towards finding girls for me, I have found all of my male spankers, and both M and my current Daddy through these sites.

Edward and I used to joke though that we should offer a service. I'd be the secretary and he'd be the boss. I'd just get the ones that wanted a female top, or when he was too busy, or if I just thought they'd been especially naughty and I couldn't help myself. hehe. (my Daddy now is helping me look too, but he says that he's not sure he should give me a little girl to play with b/c he thinks I'd be mean to her! *gasp of outrage!* that is just NOT TRUE! I would be very nice to another girl! *hmph! stomps foot!*). Anywho, we used to joke that we'd advertise with a billboard that was of just a straightbacked chair and a hairbrush with a phone number. lol.

In all seriousness though, I would advise against advertsing directly on campus. That in my book is a BIG no. B/c someone will see it, misunderstand, report it, someone could get in trouble, etc. Secondly, its honestly kinda sketch. lol, sorry to use a teenage term, but that's what I would call it. I would not have replied to an ad like that- I would have been too afraid.

The best way, and the way that I've used, is through the internet, and spanking personal ads. My first spanking was almost a year ago now, and I found my Daddy through Shadow Lane personal ads. I just happend to be a member there, and I decided to be bold. I responded to Daddy's ad (which was actually over 2 years old- they still forward messages after you are no longer a member) and I put up one of my own. I obviously was very lucky. I got a winner my first shot up. I was not as cautious as a should have been, looking back on it, but it did all work out for the best.

Since then I have recieved a few messages from people responding to my ad (I have not been a member for almost a year), and I've become friends with some of them, met with one, but have not been spanked by any of them. Currently, and what I think your best bet it, I belong to multiple free spanking personal ad sites. The biggest one is Spanking Internet (SIN), which has both a free and pay area, and has 10s of thousands of members. There are a LOT of creepy, sketchy people on that site though, and it can be pretty overwhelming for a girl. But I think if you're upfront but not too direct or at all sexual, you could have some luck.

The other site that I reccomend is SpankFinder. It is much more detailed and cleaner than SIN, but also, unfortunately a lot smaller. I typically like the messages that I get there better though, and I have made quite a few friends there.

My advice for communicating and first starting communcation is to:
  1. Be Polite. This is big. I can not tell you how repulsive it is to get a message that is vulgar or presumptuous. Say that you liked her profile, maybe that her picture was very pretty, and that you would like to chat (most people use yahoo messenger or something simillar) or email with her if she's interested.
  2. If you're not interested in a sexual relationship, that is something you should mention. If a girl is just looking for discipline, that will be important to her (that was what I originally went in looking for).

  3. If you are comfortable sharing a photo of yourself, do . Don't put a picture of a really scary implement, or of you shirtless!!!!! Lol, I actually see that a lot, and I understand the point, but a full lenght picture fully clothed (even with the head cut off) is plenty. It will really up the number of messages you get. Even if you're super ripped and hot, you'll just seem shallow, and if you really shouldn't be shirtless...then you shouldn't be shirtless. ;)
  4. Don't be afraid. Don't be scared to send a message. As long as your polite, most girls will respond, and the worst she can say is no thank you. You'll never know what will happen til you try. However, DO NOT HARASS if someone doesn't reply to you or says no thank you.

  5. Lastly, If someone is listed as in a relationship, acknowledge that. I have always been listed as in a relationship and looking for girls on my ads, and yet I get tons of messages from men. The ones that I reply to, and make friends with, are the ones that say that they realize I am taken, but would still like to chat, or something of the sort.

Ok, lol, so that's my advice from my experience, which admitedly isn't much. I know that many of the people who read this blog *cough Todd and Suzy cough* have MUCH more experience than I do, and if you have anything you'd like to add to this, or change, pretty pretty please with sugar on top, post it in the comments. Comments make my world go round. :)

I hope I haven't sounded to pretentious in this post. I just really wanted that guy to get my reply even though his email doesn't work, and this topic is something that guys have asked me about a lot.

Next up, I promise, will be the story explaining all those brusises. But in order for me to avoid more, I need to go study! Love you all so much!!! And Thank YOU THANKYOU THANK YOU to everyone who sent me messages of support either here or through email. They really have made me feel so much better, and given me a lighter heart recently, which has been admittedly difficult lately.


Princess Kelly

PS. The photo is an old one (there are VERY few new photos from this semester *pout*) but its me in my "study panties." I thought they were appropriate.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

My Absence

Hey y'all (if there are any of you still out there),

I can not really explain my absence fully, as I'm not really strong enough to talk about it yet I don't think. But I will say this. John (my lover/daddy/spanker) and I have been having some Serious issues these last few weeks. And I've been living in my own personal hell since...well since the day of that last post actually. Panic attacks, days of crying, missed school, a relapse into bulimia, and a lot of other really bad, really scary things have all happened. Some of it is all my fault, and some of it is not. Some of it I will evenutally be able to explain here, and some of it I'm not sure I'll ever want to. .... But he and I are working through it. He's moved backwards in our relationship.....and I feel very very alone out here all by myself sometimes.... but I need to learn to be who I used to be again. That girl that didn't take shit from anyone. That everyone knew was the smart, tough, independent girl who didn't let anyone walk on her. I am not a doormat. And I need to remember that even if he's not in my life, that I still have a life. Friends and family who love me and will always be there for me.

So the reason that I went away....well there are a couple. One is that I was writing a really good post actually when all of this really started, and I just couldn't bring myself to finsh it...maybe I will in a few weeks. And secondly, it was just that spanking, my blog, this whole community, it used to be my escape, and then all of a sudden I felt like it was what I had to escape from.

But I am sorry that I have been gone so long. And it took an incredibly nice email from one of my readers who I will call E to remind me why I love writing here. There is so much love and support in this community. Everyone just wants the best for everyone else, and I know that when things get bad, this is somewhere I can run to. Its never something that I should run away from.

Ok, so, I'm not totally sure how my new situation with John is supposed to work. I'm not sure what rules are still in place and which ones aren't. And I honestly do NOT want to ask. I can't stand him when I ask him things- the way he gets. My job is to distract him and to keep him happy. But in the meantime, I'm going to keep myself happy. I'm not about to go hook-up with some other boy just b/c he's with this other woman tonight, b/c I know that would NOT be good for my mental well being. But that does not mean that I'm not going to post a picture here. B/c I don't know where he and I stand on that, and I figure, if he's got a problem with it, he'll let me know. If he even reads this blog anymore.

So, like I said, John and I are trying to work through everything, because we love each other so much, and because we make each other happy. So, when I was with him this past weekend, I got punished, like normal. However, this was not a normal punishment. This was a punishment that we'd put off for over a month, that had we taken care of earlier, might have really helped save our relationship. But we didn't. And so on Sunday, when my cumupance came, it wasn't just for the original infraction, but for the long standing issue I have that has been slowly eating away at our relationship. WORST SPANKING EVER. I think this was probably one of the hardest he's ever given. And was certainly the hardest I've ever recieved. The photos here are from FIVE DAYS later. The indivdual bruises from the cane had melded into those from the bathbrush.

I will share the details soon. But in any case, I promise, I'll try not to go away for so long ever again.


Princess Kelly