Oh wow! I knew it had been a long time since I posted, but I didn't realize it had been over a month! So sorry! Will do better, I promise. I have lots to tell you about.
So I am supposed to be asleep right now- got sent to bed at 11:30 tonight because of an early morning meeting (bedtime is a well established 1 AM normally)- but it's just not happening. In bed, can't sleep. And my brain is just running and running, like it always is, and as is the case many nights, I came up with the idea for a blog post! :) Most nights this happens, and I will write somewhere from half to the entire post in my head before falling asleep. I think sometimes I forget that I didn't actually write them, which is why nothing ever ends up here anymore! lol.
Anywho, so I was having a discussion with my top friend (discussion of him, Brett, friends, school, and the rest of my life in another post to come soon) about him being strict with me. Whether or not I like it (I really really do), whether or not it would preclude our wonderful banter and my general bratiness or not, etc. He is of the belief that trying to get my to stop being a brat is trying to get me to stop being me. An idea of which he is not a fan, and neither am I, so yay! Anyway, so I said, the way I see it, it's like a dance:
Dance 1: "The classic"Top: Asks/tells bottom to do something, please.
Bottom: Says they don't want to and/or protests/whines
Top: Threatens bottom with consequences
Bottom: Bottom protests/whines/squirms; stays stubbornly silent or protests the unfairness of it all (this step is often perfunctory, but in my opinion mandatory. You have to at least pretend you don't want to be in trouble!)
Top: counts or says something to give bottom just 1 more chance (seriously, only one. If that. This step is optional)
Bottom: continued refusal, or a flat out no.
Top: Consequences happen.
Dance 2: The "wham bam thank you ma'am"Top: Do this now.
Dance 3: "The Re-Focus"Top: asks about progress regarding something getting done.
Bottom: admits not much has happened, or squirms and pleads the 5th
Top: Get it done now or blank will happen.
Bottom: Chooses to mind or not, consequences follow accordingly.
Top: Consequences happen for not having already been working, and to get focus back.
All of these are perfectly acceptable options which give the bottom an opportunity to get out the hollow but necessary protesting. We all do the dance, even if not in these forms. The dance where we pretend that we don't really want to be spanked. Of course we do! Even if I am not in a position to be spanked right then, maybe I am just wanting some strict attention, or a push back to focus. A bit of corner time or bare bottom time on my couch, or anal punishment or line writing or whatever it is that floats your boat... doesn't matter! Just some sort of push back.
I usually need at least one refusal or bit of fuss, even if I'm in the mood to mind. Just to keep up appearances! But after that, if I'm still refusing or fussing, I'm needing a firmer hand. And unfortunately I have found, that when I'm allowed to get away with too much, I tend to get really REALLY disrespectful, disobedient and out of hand. If you keep telling me how bad it will be for my bottom next week, but aren't giving me anything concrete in that moment, or being incredibly direct with me in your commands... um a "fuck you" might have come out of my mouth this week... (that did NOT bode well for my bottom today btw).
I do get frustrated also though when people don't abide the basics of the dance. When no fuss at all is accepted. I am not a robot or a dog. I don't ask how high when told to jump. I am a good girl at heart and want to be, but I need to pretend not to be!
And it's true that sometimes when asked "do you need a spanking?" or "are you looking for a spanking?" or "you know you're cruising for a spanking right?" my response will be like in the old classic, Beauty and the Bandit, of a simply screamed "YES!" But most of the time I will lie through my teeth! "No!" 'How dare you?!" "you wouldn't dare!" and lots of squirming and silent scowls are my response.
As they should be. Because that's the dance.