Friday, April 5, 2013

"Hi Self, It's Nice to Meet You"

 "So I guess, Summary: Alive. Not Depressed. Watching too much Supernatural. Way stronger than I thought I was. Single and alone for the first time, and for the first time in a long time realizing that I'm a person that I don't know. But that's OK, because I'm kinda awesome. So getting to know me isn't so bad."
Hey Team,
So after much ado (internally) here is my vlog about my life and status and such post break up. I am doing really well, just being single and alone for the first time in 5 years. Realizing that I need to heal and get to know myself before I can really do anything else. That I am stronger than I ever dreamed I was, because I kept pretending that I wasn't, and eventually I believed that to be the case.

I spent over 3 hours trying to get this done. Total fail. Could have written in by the end. But did like 3 takes- the first was half an hour and I just wasn't going to edit that. So I'm not sure if this one is totally boring or not (I have watched it too many times so I'm assuming it is), but it's pretty insightful I suppose if you haven't been inside my brain with me for the last few weeks, lol. :)

Thank you to everyone for your support. It means a lot. I have responded to comments from the last post in the last comments. I don't think I said everything I wanted to say, but there is far too much for me to have achieved that. I suppose my shower walls and I will just have to share those thoughts together. :)

Split into two  parts because it was too long. I really hope some people actually watch this, lol. Worked really hard on it. :)

I make no promises on updating anything else (lots to do and say, including fun things), but I do promise not to entirely abandon the blog. :) Who knows? Maybe lots of updates are in the future.


[UGH! Just discovered my software cut in the middle of my favorite line in the whole thing! GRRR, so I'll type it in between. :)]



"Once I figure out what I want to be. ...Other than demon hunter, because, alternate universe, so even my charming wit and gigantic tits can't make that one happen...."



xoxo
Princess Kelley

10 comments:

  1. Hey saw you linked this on FL. Keep your head up kid! Ive been going through the same situation as you, but with the rolls reversed. Can't let it get to ya! From what ive read and heard in your blog, you're a awesome woman with a huge heart. Dont let a few asshats that dont respect ya get ya down and depressed.

    And keep smiling! You've got a great one!

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  2. This was awesome to watch. I recognise this place, very much, and I think it IS a healthy one. Be single, have adventures, learn yourself, and start learning all the stuff that comes with managing yourself - when to be patient and kind and forgiving, when to be strict.

    I think you were stepping out on this path last year when your most recent ex came along, and he disrupted things a bit, but this is already a direction you were headed. It's good to see you back on track.

    Watching TV shows is well known excellent distraction therapy post breakup.

    Regarding the website, take your time, I don't want you to end up regretting anything. Just keep me updated. I think it would be good to get it finished, and you might as well have an outlet for your existing films. But I understand that you have a lot of thinking and processing to do right now. I'm away from the 15-25 April this month for BBW (sorry I won't see you there!) so maybe we should talk and work out a plan when I get back? That gives you a little time to think it over and work out what you want to focus on.

    Big hugs sweetie. Hang in there, this is the start of the rest of your life and it holds so much awesome stuff, I promise.

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  3. Hey Kelley.

    So, I commented on your last post about an hour or so, then discovered that you had this one up as well. Regardless, I'm quite glad to see that you have managed to take the positives out of the situation. I remember being 22 myself and thinking I knew everything. I look back now and realise how much personal growth I have gone through since then. It seems like you are in the process of doing the same. Believe me, it all works out in the end.

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  4. Kelley,

    While siting down to compose this I was struck by a thought: regardless of whatever I may think from following your blog for the last 3 years or so, I don't know you; It's funny - blogging, like reading someone's diary as it gets, but I guess rather like many of the community and certainly many of the lurkers I feel I know you in some way, strange isn't it? to feel like you know someone without ever having met them? But here I am writing this so here goes:

    For the last few years you have lead a fascinating life and it's taken you on a journey that many that many would envy. Despite every twist, turn and bump along the way you've remained remarkably resilient and optimistic, and whenever you report on something new happening you seem wonderfully unfazed.

    What is going to happen now probably looks dark, scary and not somewhere you want to go but rest assured it doesn't matter what direction you are going to choose to take your life in, qualities like this are what make people succeed in their endeavours, it's what makes them happy and when life gets a bit shit it's what helps you look life in the face and chug what juice you squeezed from the lemons it threw at you without so much as batting an eyelid.

    Where you are now is nothing to be afraid of, but build on it - there's a good proverb for this: "A Man is the room he is in right now", we're sum of our experiences and what we choose to do with them - where you have been doesn't matter so much, it's where you want to be now that matters. ;)

    If it helps, here's a handful of wit and wisdom that helps me along whenever I stop and wonder what I'm doing, to summarise it down: Not a single person on this planet has any idea what they are doing, we all just put on brave faces and stride confidently towards whatever life looks like it has in store for us.

    "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."
    -Winston Churchill

    "I go to seek a great perhaps"
    -François Rabelais

    "A Man is the room he is in right now"
    -Japanese Proverb


    Love, that Lurker whose question you answered about WoW :)

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  5. I know you will heal, you are a strong beautiful woman. I'm also sure you will come out of this stronger and wiser. You will find what you are looking for sugar. Just hang in there and just do you.

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  6. Hello again, Kelley

    You are doing things right, sweetie. You should never make major life changing decisions while in crisis so waiting a couple weeks is a good idea. Then you will be able to think more clearly.

    The only way to replace a habit is with another habit. Sow an act, reap a habit; sow a habit reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny. Keep working away at it consistently. If you screw up, just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again.

    You are a fine young lady, Kelley. If it helps any, I love you like a niece.

    *avuncular hug and forehead smooch
    Richard

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  7. Hi Kelley,

    I enjoy watching your vblogs. Thanks for sharing.

    I think your approach makes a lot of sense. Investing in yourself is always a winning proposition.

    Hugs,
    Bonnie

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  8. Growing up a bit and deciding on who you are and what you want before you get too involved with other people emotionaly is definately the smart thing to do. You're on the right track sweetie ;)

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  9. Keep plugging away, Sweetheart!

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  10. Hey, Princess. You are not "kinda awesome"....you ARE awesome. Never doubt it for a second. You will not just come back from what you went through--you'll come back, surpass it, and go in directions you've never dreamed of. You know what's best for you. Listen to that voice in your head, and you can't go wrong. Keep to the path you are on, and you are going to be amazing!

    Hugs (yeah, another hug...so sue me) :-)
    Dr. Ken

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