So this is a rather long (approx 40 minutes- sorry guys! lol) audio post about the idea of limits and my limits in particular.
I discuss (in summary) physical limits, sexual limits, emotional limits, and physical limitations, as well as the various levels of respect that can go along with said limits and limitations.
What I talk about (this is at this moment as close as I'm going to get to a transcript of sorts- I'll try to expand on it after I finish my paper).
How people in the scene (both tops and bottoms) respect other people's limits and the various types of respect
basic respect- ie you don't cross someone's limit
general respect- you don't cross and you understand why they would have that limit but you think that they are less strong than someone who could take more and/or you attempt to pressure the person into changing their mind
full respect- you don't cross, you understand why, and you don't think that person is any less than anyone else for their choices in limits and you do not attempt in any way to pressure them
My Physical Limits
-No whips or anything of the sort (including things like rope or those loop things but not including gentle floggers (though I think it goes without saying that for me those floggers that have pieces of metal or hard objects in them are an absolute NO when it comes to me)
-No thick wood (frat bats, ect)
-(oh, just thought of one I didn't put in the recording- I don't do the bent over grab your ankles position- its too dangerous as well as completely impersonal and cold feeling)
-No intentional bruising (the story behind this and my personal reasons are in the audio- it is long and I will type it (maybe) later)
My sexual limits (most of these of course change if you are in a committed, exclusive, and loving relationship- these apply more to hookups and play dates with "friends")
-No penis shall enter my body in any way. (if I choose when comfortable, to give head, that is my choice and will be initiated only by myself)
-No kissing men who are spoken for (even if the woman is right there telling me I can)
-No sex does not mean that I don't like sexual play- I do very much so. If I'm willing to let you spank me, 99% of the time that means I'm ok enough for you to see my tits, lol :)
-If you want my clothes off, you can do it yourself (meaning I'm fine being naked, you just have to say when, and often, do it yourself)
-I prefer my spanker and men in general to stay clothed
-At least one person will wear underwear to bed
(oh you also get to hear the story about why I hate penises :) lol)
My emotional limits
-NO degrading- re: no calling me a "bitch" or a "slut." No hair pulling. No spitting. No feet kissing, etc [I do really like exhibitionism and embarrassment- there is a difference]
-After a spanking, aftercare must be immediate (no corner time AFTER a spanking)
-corner time during a spanking can not be too long (see limitations) and you can't leave for an extended period of time- only for a couple seconds to get an implement. You must be in the room
-Just avoid the phrase "you do not deserve..."
-Do not call me a "bad girl" in a discipline setting. I am a good girl who behaved poorly, or a naughty girl
-understand that I have triggers, and that you might have to deal with them, and be kind and understanding while doing so
-ALWAYS respect my headspace
-I can't kneel- my knees will pop out of joint. I don't do kneeling anyway, but on occasion it feels appropriate, but it is not possible
-I get dehydrated very easily (you have to remind me to drink water when playing) and get dizzy sometimes when in the corner. I have passed out more than once. Thus, I can't be in the corner for much longer than 5 (max 10) minutes.
-I have panic attacks that make it so I can't breathe. If I say I'm having one during a spanking- which can happen- you have to let me up to get my medicine
-my safe word is "safeword"
Ok team, I think that covers it :) Please listen to the audio if you can- I think its pretty decent. And please, as always, don't judge what I say based on only the typing- I might answer your question in the audio. And also, these are my PERSONAL limits, and I don't think that everyone does or should have the same limits. :)