Ok, where was I.... oh yes, the internet....
Now this is where it gets interesting. As you can tell by the title of the post, this isn't just about my background (as fascinating as I'm sure that might be to some, lol). A question that I get asked frequently, usually after, was I spanked growing up, and how long have I known that I was into spanking is was I ever caught, and the short answer is yes. The long answer....well... that requires some explaining.
My family got the internet when I was around 8 or 9, and I don't remember what my first search was sadly, but I do remember that the search engine was Altavista. :) I used to search for everything and anything. Stories, pictures, games, videos. I know I've talked about what sites I used to go to in a previous post, so I won't dwell on that too long. So lets jump ahead to the first time I got caught.
The confusing part of all of this for me is that we moved when I was 10 (same town, different house) and since i'm 20, I kinda divide my life into 1st house and 2nd house. And the internet and this beginning all happened right around then. But I do remember having a couple discussions with my parents about some "strange sites" in the history at the first house. Back then I didn't at first know to clear the history, but thankfully, my parents didn't know much about computers either, and I was quickly able to claim that any and all pornographic related material came from spam email that I accidentally clicked on. Easy fix.
Second time around. Second house, I suppose I was 10. And my father comes in the game room while I'm in there on the computer. My mom had her own computer in her office downstairs and my technologically inept father, my brother and I shared the upstairs one. This would have been fine- we all had our own internet login accounts- except that my father one time logged into my name accidentally. So there I am, sitting playing some shockwave game (the only other thing I did on the computer other than homework and porn) and he comes in and sits down and asks me to click on my address bar. I think my heart stopped beating. But I was a quick and good liar (something I still am today- I don't know if that's something I should be proud of or not). I acted horrified at the "spankhard.com" and other links that appeared and when he asked how they appeared I said that I had no idea- must be more email spam! I would investigate how they got there. "Well I don't want you investigating! I dont' want you looking at them," he responded, lol. He was uncomfortable, I was uncomfortable. It was never mentioned again.
A couple years passed. I got better and better at hiding my tracks. My reflex to the X button was lightening fast. But I didn't dare look at anything when my parents were home! I waited until my family went out to one of my brother's sports tournaments, or when everyone happened to be gone. I could hear the key in the door and would close the half dozen windows I had open. I looked at EVERYTHING back then- my tastes have become much more specialized as I've gotten older. But one time, when I was 12 (7th grade) I missed a window.
I closed out of everything and rushed across the hall to my room the second I saw their car pull up. I wasn't worried. By now I'd figured out how to set my internet to not record history, and I never typed anything directly to an address bar (that's a habit I still keep with me today). But later that evening my mother came in looking very grim and asked to talk to me. She was holding a print out. I was TERRIFIED. And I will still to this day thank the lord for the story that I happened to be reading that day. It was from Laura's Corner, and I didn't even like it particularly, lol, though i Love that site. It was a very explicit school girl story that had a hairbrushing scene in it, but also a very graphic lesbian love scene (which I did not actually read, lol). But that's what she had printed out.
My mother and I have never had a good relationship, but around that age was the worst. I developed very young (got boobs at 9) and I've literally looked the exact same (save for weight fluctuations) since I was 12. But so my mom and I fighting and yelling was not new. And to be honest, I still resent her for the way she went about this. But she started kinda making these acustations and proding in embarassing ways. I of course, the second she mentioned the "explicit girl stuff" I latched on. I just wanted it to be anything other than spanking. I didn't care what. So I was already starting to have a panic attack (a real issue for me) and then started yelling and crying about how "YOU THINK I"M A LESBIAN?! HOW COULD YOU!!?!? I"M NOT!!!" and anything to keep the conversation on that aspect. (Ironic since I am bi-sexual)
I don't know what happend from there, I just remember exactly how that panic felt. And that the entire situation ended with me being grounded from the computer for 2 weeks. The one and only time in my life that I was ever grounded after the age of like 8. In my house it was more about the arguing and the debate. Who could make their point and defend their argument the best. If you couldn't prove that I did something, you couldn't punish me for it. So the best way to go about things was to deny deny deny.
So I was grounded. It sucked. But that was the end of it. I became even more careful, and if I was caught again, there was no mention of it.
Until I was 17.....