Tuesday, September 29, 2009

True Colors

I just got effectively dumped via text message. Apparently I'm "too much drama" so he and I (who mind you were just friends to begin with- though this man was the last man in this city that I trusted, and someone that I was really counting on especially during this moment) "won't be hanging out again."
That's all he said. VIA TEXT MESSAGE!!!!! and he won't say anything else.
My Mommy just died a week ago, I just started my period, am recovering from the fucking swine flu, and have never grieved before and you're telling me I'm "too much drama" to have lunch with!!!! ITS FUCKING LUNCH!?!!

Sigh, I know I'm drama. And I drive everyone away. I should start making notches. This is the fourth man that has not been a boyfriend or someone I've dated, that has run away like this. "Friends." Just more proof that men are pigs. And that I am going to die alone.

I am a Daddy's girl at heart. I might be my Mommy's girl right now, and will forever be Hers, but deep down, I'm a Daddy's girl. But I swear, ya'll are ridiculous. Someone died- its going to be dramatic!

So normally I would never do this- bash someone on my blog- but I think this is a special circumstance. Plus I just need to fucking vent. So you know who you are, if you're reading this, you're a jerk. Even my ex- that guy that you hate and so does everyone else- never would have hurt me during this time. HE called me when he found out. HE worries about me still. You couldn't bother to give me a hug b/c you were too afraid you couldn't control yourself. I would have said I loved you- not in love, but i definitely cared about you that much. I love you, and you do this. I thought you were the good guy. The guy that always made me smile. The one good one left. But I was clearly wrong. How typical.

I guess the saying is right. Its in our darkest moments that those in our life show their true colors. Everyone here that has been so supportive, I can not thank you enough. I guess these moments tell us who our real friends are. Those that offer anything and everything they have, even if its just an ear- or feet to go get a prescription filled when your sick. Not those that say, wow sorry, that sucks, and then run the other direction.

Princess Kelley


  1. Well, that totally sucks. Really hate that there are people that are that selfish in the scene. He should have been there to lean on. The loss of a loved one is the single most stressful thing a person can go through. It's not like you were dealing with something silly or blowing a minor bump in the road out of proportion. What he did was way-way over the top and totally unfair.

    Guess you're better off seeing his true colors. Texting you like that... wow... hard to believe someone could claim to care, yet then be so heartless. Just wish it wouldn't have happened at such a bad-bad time for you. Please hang in there though. There are good people in this world, and you do have friends that care.

    big hugs,
    ~Todd & Suzy

  2. Isn't it a rule that you can't text message break-up? With everything going on in your life, he doesn't have the courage to speak to your face? He's revealed much about himself, all while trying to blame it on you.

    He was right, in only one way: you do have a lot of drama in your life right now. You've acknowledged here that you're not sure how to deal with everything. But instead of standing by you, being a calming influence when you feel the world is out of control, being someone steady you can count on - he decides you're not worth the time and effort that it takes to be a true friend.

    If that was his decision, he's a fool. It doesn't take a whole lot to be a rock for someone, and from what I've read of your posts, you would have been a jewel for him if he could have shown he was worth it.

    I'm sorry you had to deal with this on top of everything else. So many of your recent problems are bad luck or bad timing, but this one was just a bad apple. You are better off knowing him for who he is, and it's his loss that he can't see you for the wonderful person you are, even in your time of need.

  3. My heart hurts for you and your sister. I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time in your life. I don't think you are giving yourself enough credit; I think you are much stronger and resilient than you realize. The loss of a loved one is one of lifes most devastating events and you must allow yourself to go through the grieving process. Try and remember the good times you spent with her and not just the pain you feel. I have dealt with this pain more times than I care to remember but time is a great healer. You never forget the person and you will find yourself missing them but will also find yourself fondly reflecting on good times and memories.
    You are stronger than you realize or you would not be able to reach out on your blog. You need to give yourself a break and not be hard on yourself. I know your mom is gone and I am so sorry. You said you need someone to lean on and I think they are much closer than you think. I know she is your baby sister but who better than family. You both need someone why not be each others support system. In time you both will find others to help you but you have each other now.

    And not all guys are jerks just many many of us are. Be very careful about letting your fragile emotions lead you to the wrong guy. After you feel more at peace maybe you should reflect or evaluate what traits the guys that have hurt you have in common. You might be surprised; they may all have things in common you might want to avoid. But the MOST important thing is you and getting through this difficult period in your life; from which I am sure you will come out a stronger person. Have confidence in yourself.

  4. Dear Kelley,

    Obviously a man that "dumps" you over text, isn't a man at all. And certainly not a man deserving of you nor deserving of being your Daddy.

    Hang in there sweet Princess.

    Much love,

  5. Todd and Suzy- Thank you as always for all of your support. You guys have been so good to me for so long, and it just shows me that not everyone is going to be like that guy.
    I hope ya'll had fun at the party and I'm SO sad I missed it. I'll email ya'll soon to find out how it went :)

    I feel horrible that I'm just responding to this now bc when I read this comment it really made my day. You made me feel special and like I deserved to be treated with respect, which after what happened I had forgotten. BIG HUG!!! and Thank you for your words. You are so right about everything.

    Thank you for your kind and encouraging (and oh so right) words. All the support that I have recieved from my blog and people I know (and people I don't) through the scene has been amazing. Everyday is a struggle and but everyday is better than the one before. I'm so glad that I decided to let myself grieve in the beggining and didn't try to put it off (which my baby sister has done) b/c I feel so much better and stronger than I did just 3 weeks ago. Your words of support helped in that process and for that, I will always be grateful.

    lol. Thank you sweetie! HUGS!!

    Princess Kelley