Shadow Lane Part 1: Pre-Party

Hey Team,

Sooo..... this series of posts is going to be incredibly meaningful to anyone who knows me well or has been a reader of this blog for a long time (at least I think it will be), as this was the culmination of a lot of my longest held spanking fantasies. For those of you who are here looking for more information regarding the situation with my Daddy, you will be sorely disappointed. This is not the platform for that, and I plan on simply discussing the party without talking too much about what happened other than to acknowledge the heightened context of everything that happened. Lastly, the consequences of this past weekend should be extremely meaningful to anyone who likes me being in the scene or still enjoys my blog. Let me explain:

A week and a half ago, I was about to shut down my blog, stop video production, and leave the scene entirely. I had been wrestling with my feelings for a long time, and was talking with my therapist about it. I felt like when I came back from Europe I stopped, looked at my life, and thought, "how the hell did I get here?" I spent two years trying to figure out how to merge my lives and had failed, and I felt that my vanilla life was getting the shaft most of the time, and I missed that part of me. I thought, "this has been a fun experiment, but I am ready to go back to reality now." The blog was the last thing I was ready to give up, and was the hardest decision to come to terms with, but it was really going to happen. I thought, "hey, the blog hasn't been the same in two years, and it's felt like a struggle for a long time. No one even reads it anymore." The tagline of the blog has always been "a young college students search for firm loving discipline and the musings and stories of her experiences." It was one of the first things I came up with after the title of the blog.

But that's not who I am anymore. Right now I feel more like "a confused twenty-something year old searching for meaning and belonging in the kinky world and beyond." So I went through lots of possibilities of how to move on, and one of them I still might do- a reload. Leave this blog the way it is, but start fresh with a 2.0 as well. So I can stop feeling like I'm killing this blog and stop feeling like I have to fit in it, but also allow myself the opportunity to still continue blogging if I want to.... this still might happen. (My favorite suggestion btw came from my nutritionist who thought I should do like in the Princess Bride and find another girl to take over being "Princess Kelley" so that would live on forever, but I could go back to just being me). I even started writing my goodbye post.

But I said to myself, "Shadow Lane is this weekend. Just give it one more shot, and see how you feel afterwards." And *spoiler alert* I am sure as hell not about to leave the scene now. I am not sure what the future holds yet for me or for this blog or my life in the scene, but I know that running away (which I now admit was what I was wanting to do) isn't going to solve anything.

Shadow Lane, as I am sure all of you know, was basically the first spanking video production company. It is also the bread and butter of the spanking porn that I grew up with. I have been dreaming of going to a Shadow Lane party since I was 13, and would have gone sooner if the whole "back to school" theme didn't mean that the timing always conflicted with school! lol. I firmly believe that Eve Howard's stories in the videos had an instrumental part in shaping who I am as a spanko today. This would also be just my second big party. And while I loved Texas, I was running it, so I didn't actually get to enjoy being at the party.

So about two weeks ago, I made the decision and talked to Daddy about the fact that I didn't want to go to this party as Princess Kelley. I just wanted to be Kelley- just wanted to be me. I have been feeling burnt out and not even loving spanking at all anymore for a while, and I just wanted to stop feeling jaded. To feel like I was 18 again- fresh faced and eager, open and curious, nervous and excited for the new experience. I decided that other than vending the first night I wasn't going to do anything else business related. I didn't even finish my dvd's to sell. I was just there to promote Omega Tau Kappa which is something I am still interested in and proud of but doesn't feel so.... the only way I can think to explain it is that the other day Daddy and I had one of our most intense "sessions" ever. We normally don't play like that but we did the night before he left and he caned me really hard and left gorgeous lines. He took pictures... and I didn't want to share them. I thought, "I don't know if I want to be naked on the internet anymore," and that was the first time I'd ever thought that. I usually love sharing my personal moments...

Anywho, that was last week. This is now, lol. :) So basically, going to Shadow Lane, going to vend but after that just be Kelley. Be giddy and nervous to meet all of the people I've been fans of for so long and try to renew my love of spanking. I was going to be there for me. No hosting obligations. I decided I was going to be selfish and only play with the people I really wanted to play with, and not feel bad about saying no so I didn't burn out.
Obviously, given what happened with Daddy, the weekend was worse than I could have dreamed. But in every other way, the weekend was better than I had literally ever dreamed it would be, and my mission was accomplished. And with this renewed energy and love for spanking, I can't wait to tell you about the party...

TBC asap (I am supposed to be in bed, and am going to be in biggg trouble, so I have to cut it short for now- will continue tomorrow with tales of Friday)

xoxo
Princess Kelley

Cowgirl Photo Shoot

Hey Team,
Life is crazy, and I'm frantically trying to get my DVD site up and running before Shadow Lane. I've been thinking a lot about my blog lately, and I have some announcements to make I think pretty soon. But for now, I was going through photos trying to get things for the site, and I stumbled upon these gems.

They are over a year old at least (as noticed by the lack of bangs)- from around my last birthday I believe. And I hated all of them at the time they were taken. With a bit of good cropping and a better acceptance of my body (and not even looking at the majority of the 200 photos from this day) I have come to like these enough to want to share them.

I had this concept I wanted to shoot, that was based on this jean jacket I have had since I was 10 years old. I've grown into it :). When I was in middle school and high school, and I wanted to feel sexy, I would pretend to do a photo shoot in my bathroom, and I would often wear nothing but my panties (I only had white cotton back then) and this jean jacket. My boobs were all anyone (including me) ever noticed about me at that point in time, and this emphasized them, and made me feel like the models in the magazines.

Well my body has changed (no longer a size 6) and my boobs have grown even more, but I still love that jacket, and our friends have a house out in the country that we film at sometimes, and I knew they had a wagon. And Johnny Ravage had just gotten a new camera. Thus, this shoot.

The light was perfect, and it was one of the last bearable days in Texas (late May around sunset). Should have done my hair, should have put on make-up, but whatever, we just went with it.

So yeah, no reason to post these, except that I don't feel like putting them on fetlife, but I want to share :)

xoxo
Princess Kelley

This is the closest to the shot I really wanted, but my face is blurry and contorted so I cropped it. But great shot of the girls! :)

The artist in me dies for the light in this shot! Again, credits to Johnny Ravage for the great photography 

Singing Videos from TASSP

Hey Team,

So, by popular demand, here are the videos of me singing at this year's TASSP. I lost my voice during the party, so I had to change a couple notes, but I'm not sure anyone but me noticed. Stressed me the fuck out though, lol. I'm actually still pretty happy with the way they turned out.

Let Me Be Your Star- Smash


The backing track for this song did not yet exist at the time of the performance, so I chose to sing it acapella. I'm quite proud of how it turned out. The song is about Marilyn Monroe, and is a Broadway number. Sung from her point of view, it's quite the painful ballad. I chose this song because it felt really personal for me, and I love singing it. It's challenging but doable, and the message is right on. I am begging for people to just love me, and let me be the star for that moment. I will deal with the consequences of my decisions later, but I can forget the past in those minutes I'm performing, and everyone will know my name.
This one was definitely my favorite.


Redneck Woman- original by Gretchen Wilson


So I never sing country. I am from Texas, but I am not a country girl, lol. I chose to do this song primarily because it is Texas All State after all, and I thought that the British Amelia and Pandora would get a kick out of it (which they definitely did). And anyone who knows me thinks it's hysterical given just how un-me it really is. :) This was my first time performing this and I had a great time with it. Really wish my voice had been at full capacity, but still pretty strong in my opinion.


Born this Way- original by Lady Gaga

(so for some reason in the recording the first two lines of the song got cut off)
The last song I performed was an acapella version of Lady Gaga's born this way. I was supposed to be singing an acoustic version with a guitarist, but we just couldn't get it together in time and I ended up just doing it acapella, which is really not the sound I was going for. The acoustic version feels really real and honest, and it makes you listen to the words. So anywho, the ending when I performed kinda sucked, and I wasn't sure where I was going to end it (with my voice gone and suddenly no accompaniment I hadn't had a chance to practice it), so I am just cutting it where I should have stopped singing, lol. 

I think why I chose this song it obvious. I believe strongly that we, as spankos, are born this way, and I think we should be proud of who we are. I wanted to celebrate that, and this was actually the first song that I picked when I came up with my set list. :)

xoxo
Princess Kelley

Mirror Mirror

Ok Team,

*frustrated glare and hands on hips, tapping toe*

Seriously???? Did not one single person in the entire spanking community see the movie Mirror Mirror? It's not even that bad of a movie- it's quite good actually! Julia Roberts is horribly miscast, but that aside, the movie is cute, and funny, and the girl playing Snow White (Lily Collins) is beyond words beautiful and the Prince is well, dreamy as all fuck.

AND THERE IS A SPANKING SCENE!!!!!

A really really really good one!

How did I not hear about this before??? And, then, when I googled it, not only could I not find a clip, I couldn't find one single mention of it in the community. Just a couple vanilla blogs talking about the movie and that didn't approve of the "John Wayne like throw back spanking."

Well screw them because this scene is both adorable and hot as hell! I really don't want to ruin the movie for everyone (since you are ALL going to go rent it now) but I think this is basic Snow White type plot... a bit different from the norm for sure, but not too bad of spoilers... but just in case

****Spoilers Ahead******
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So, we have already had some adorable interactions between Snow White and the Prince, but you will have to watch the movie to see them. Snow White is basically an uber good girl, and the Prince seems like he could be a bit of a pompous and presumptuous ass. She likes to make him say please for things. :) And he keeps ending up without his shirt *grins.* It's lovely.

So Snow has run away and is now living with the Dwarves who are bandits on stilts... yes stilts. The Prince was attacked by them at the beginning of the movie, and he is embarassed that he was mugged by dwarves! And now the Queen has been robbed, the Prince has been told Snow is dead.. yadayada.. WATCH THE MOVIE

There was a fantastic montage where the dwarves teach Snow how to be a bandit, and how to fight, and she looks adorable and somehow so sexy in her bandit outfit. In the montage she gets her butt smacked by the hilt of a sword a couple times during training which is a nice prelude to the main scene.

So the Prince comes with some men to capture the dwarves, but they are ambushed and Snow is now working with them and she ends up fighting the Prince! Who thought she was dead! And she is so mad that he is working for the Queen. His initial statement that he can't fight her becasue she is a girl is quickly overlooked when she does keep fighting.

And she tries so hard! But this is a sweet and determined girl with like a week of training versus a very tall, strong and strapping Prince who spent his life training. The scene is so hot in my opinion. It's one of the only times a sort of arrogance is sexy. It's an indulgent type of arrogance. Not to mention all of the deliciously S&M type positioning they end up in as he commands her to yield. 

So he fights her, and at first is surprised she is doing so well, but quickly takes control back, and then just indulges her by allowing her to keep fighting. They are fighting but he isn't exactly trying very hard. And when she messes up, instead of taking her down or actually hurting her, he spanks her with the hilt of his sword! And they show a close up! And she squeaks and rubs her very round tush. Three or four times!

Now this would already be just so hot- and this has happened in other movies during sword training scenes, and it's always hot (ie. Brad Pitt spanking his cousin in the movie Troy *swoon- damn that movie is hot*) but it doesn't end there! Normally it just happens and there is never mention of it. But then they are fighting, and he has had enough (she actually cuts him) and I believe his words are something akin to "Alright, enough of this nonsense." And he immediate takes her sword. He tells her to submit and know that she has lost, and then while smirking asks, "Or did you not learn enough from your spanking?"

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

I was watching this with my roommate in Paris and was totally not expecting anything- we just wanted a lighthearded movie to watch together. I just about DIED. I already thought this guy was hot- and I loved him in his other roles as well- andd then he went and said that! I love that old fashioned dominant indulgence... very cowboy and superhero like. You let your lady pretend that she is strong and can do it herself until you are either bored or she is gonig to hurt herself, and then put a stop to it.

What I think is really interesting is that I remember thinking this actor (Armie Hammer) was hot when he came on screen and for some reason my brain associated him with dominance... I wasn't wrong. Fun fact though, and a good lesson for all the young men who are now thinking that I have gone back on my "arrogance is never sexy" line. I haven't. This actor was the Winkelvoss twins in the Social Network. That is the most unsexy arrogance EVER. This Prince is hot arrogant. Because he is still nice, and sweet, charming, well mannered, and does learn from Snow that there is nothing wrong with saying please. :)

Oh, and *MEGA SPOILERS*
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her Daddy is played by Sean Bean! Are you fucking kidding me?!?! Like I didn't want to be her already!?!?
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Perfectly beautiful, has the hottest Prince, learns to sword fight, gets spanked, and has the most awesome tiara ever (vintage Van Cleef and Arpeles, 72 Carats, and no cheap replica to buy, damnit!), and then she has one of my all time dream Daddies! Lucky bitch. :)

So yeah, I am in medieval castles all week, watched a Princess get spanked by a really hot Prince, and got to give into my exhibitionist streak some. So all in all, a really good week :)

xoxo
Princess Kelley


Also, the Blue Hawaii spanking scene is not on Youtube OR Spankingtube! Such a travesty! Let's get on this team! I know somebody has that file on their computer. Don't lie. You know you do! lol :)

A Man Like Thor

Now can I please just have a man like that? Doesn't even need to be that perfect or...uhmm... sculpted....or a demi God!

Just someone who could make me feel as small by comparison as Natalie Portman looks in this shot.
And a man who would look at me with that exact expression of, um, "appreciation.". :) Who would just take me and do to me exactly what he is thinking of doing right there.

*licks lips*

Yes please!

God, those arms.... and shoulders... and chest.... and hands....and voice (you can't hear it from the picture obviously... but I can.... I hear it in my dreams)

*drooling and dripping*

Ok team, need a cold shower after that one!

xoxo
Princess Kelley


Update: Lol, so wrote this on the train yesterday, then went to Neuschwanstein Castle this morning and was in the throne room, and I just could envision Thor standing there... all dominant and strong.... imposing and firm.... mmmmmmmmm
... I have never been turned on by architecture before! I mean, I'm an uber nerd who dies for a good Cathedral, goes to cities for one painting, and castles rock my socks off.... but still... this place was so epic!!!
Best day of the trip so far.
(Pictures don't do the inside of this place justice btw, and the outside really is that epic and amazing)