Sunday, January 13, 2013

For Pandora... Thoughts on M/M

Hey Team/Pandora,

So given the comments on my last couple videos that people left, and the wonderfully insightful things Pandora said (she always does that! Manages to eloquently state all the things I was wanting to say when I dissolved into blushing, giggles and incoherent ramblings), I thought I would give a couple of my thoughts on the politics shall we say of the spanking porn industry, most especially male/male.

Pandora asked on Twitter, seemingly a bit upset, why it was that we so preferred straight boys to queer boys getting spanked. Why should it matter? And I could not for the life of me manage to make my answer less than 170 characters (shocker right? lol) so here are the bullets

  • As a bi-sexual woman (ok, straight girl that thinks other girls are hot), gay men are the only group of sexually oriented people that I can not work with.
    • Straight men and gay women are obvious. And bi of both genders work (though I personally don't care for guys who identify as bi... will discuss more later). And though of course it's not technically true, straight girls are always up for grabs in my world. ;)
    •  SO, if I'm watching someone spank or get spanked, I want to be able to relate to them. I want to see myself in that situation and be able to fit. Not only am I not attracted to gay men, they are not attracted to me. It's like a gigantic wall. Ok, that's the easiest answer
      • Oh, also, as a woman, I tend to get jealous. So if I'm interested in the male top in a scene, in some ways it's easier when the bottom is another male bc I have no competition. I don't have to fight her beauty to see myself there. Maybe that's just me, but it seems relevant. 
  • It's in better keeping with traditional fantasies. 
    • The way I see it, I can be as liberal and evolved of a thinker as possible (and I like to think I am) but Achilles and Patrocles are still straight. Yes, I just referenced Troy. What? Got a problem with that? I like my men big and strong and straight. If they are fucking each other (which Achilles and Patrocles might have done) I want them to be warriors. I want them to be masculine as all get out. 
    • The majority of the population is still straight. Thus it holds that our fantasies would be in keeping with what we know. Back in the day M/M would have been a common and logical pairing. Even today, we all know at least one guy that we think deserves a good spanking! And probability indicates that said guy is straight. Though spanking is no longer as common as it once was, we still accept those norms and traditions to be our own. And in this situation, I don't really think that's a bad thing. 
  • Asexual discipline scenes are easier to imagine with straight guys. 
    • While I understand fully that straight guys COULD easily like being spanked by other men just like straight girls can like getting spanked by women, that would require the said bottom to be a spanko, and that is not something generally taken into consideration by an audience member when it comes to discipline scenes (see earlier- we accept that the vast majority of people are vanilla and straight, thus we don't question it too much)
      • totally made me think about Pandora's comment that straight male spanko bottoms would like historical M/M scenes. That follows with the straight female spanko bottoms liking F/f scenes... don't know how one would cater to that audience though...hmm 
    • I also understand that it would be very easy for a gay guy to Not get turned on by spanking, that is not usually how it is depicted in any spanking porn in question
    • Discipline=love=arousal for me personally, and I think that train follows for many spanko women. 
Also would like to note that I loved Pandora's notice of the parallels of the feminist interests in these differently gendered spanking threads. I am excited to do my part in bringing cute boys into M/f spanking for women to look at. I have always wondered why we so often just have any guy that can spank dishing it out, and it really is that the men making the porn didn't give a shit. And then I made it that way just because everyone else did too!
To be fair, part of it is that I like to see the most skilled person doing it, and I haven't really found any young/super hot/ really skilled spankers out there. But it bugs me that I fell into that norm without questioning it. I went my own way with plots and the like, and with the whole discipline=love bit, but never the hot boys element. Hm... going to have to fix that!

Lastly, lol, your waving of the bi sexual flag made me laugh. Yes, I know bi boys exist, and I accept this fact. I sadly have in many ways accepted the cultural norm that all bi girls are straight and all bi boys are gay, in part because I really am more straight than gay. Like 75/25 these days. But I know it's not true. Just as there are true switches, there are true bisexuals.
For me, bi sexual boys are never particularly appealing though. Not because I find something distasteful about male/male (I really don't! Angel/Spike makes me really happy, lol). It's more the gendered issue. Bi sexual men typically "appear" "gay." The are more feminine than there straight counterparts. And it is a man's masculinity that really registers as dominant and attractive to me. I also struggle with people having more than one role for me, similarly to the switching thing. I am a switch  but with a man I either top or bottom. I can't do both. Once one has happened, switching is almost impossible. I think the bi thing is similar. 
I worry a bit that none of that is PC in the feminist world, even that of feminist porn, but it's how I see things. :)

Princess Kelley

1 comment:

  1. I am actually really surprised you don't have any comments on this post.

    I really enjoy straight M/M spanking videos. Straight men in typical porn...well, if two men are having sex I don't think it makes them necessarily gay, but they are having sex with someone of the same sex. Which is almost the definition of gay. I think two men interacting, regardless of their sexual orientation, to be hot.

    But like you, I prefer my men masculine and my women feminine (although I'm not sexually attracted to women, I like to look at them as much as anyone, and a beautiful woman to me, is a feminine woman).

    It speaks to preferences, which I think are healthy, and attraction. I am attracted to men, generally who are masculine, taller than me, have body hair, could easily over power me. I enjoy looking at women, and think women look best, as feminine as possible: curvy, with long hair, etc. It's odd because I'm quite a tomboy and often dress in yoga pants, jeans, and sneakers, but I absolutely love to get dressed up and I enjoy being a female.

    I spend a significant amount of time in the greater BDSM community which promotes gener fluidity much more than I've experienced anywhere else, and while I would stand by any one of my genderfluid/genderqueer friends, I simply like the idea of masculinity and femininity.

    I don't like the idea of androgyny. I don't find androgynous women/men to be attractive. And I think that's ok. There are people who don't find me attractive and that's fine too. I don't think it's *wrong*, I don't find morbidly obese people attractive either, or bleach blondes, or men with beer bellies, or males who look like they're 12, or women who look like my grandmother.

    Attraction is a very person thing, that I think we almost can't avoid being public about - after all, our attraction is obvious through the relationships we have, and we often seek out people we are attracted to, whatever it is about them that gets that attraction. Height, weight, freckles, hair color.

    I just think it's important to be self aware, know what you like, be educated, and encourage the idea that just because *you* prefer something, doesn't make your way of thinking sexist/outdated/close minded/antifeminist/etc.

    It's just the way you are, and what you like. It doesn't mean you don't think other things aren't ok, you just don't like them.

    Some people like wood, some people like leather, no one thinks you're a bad person for disliking either.