Wednesday, March 16, 2011


Hey Team,

So I've been thinking, and I've come to an interesting conclusion. I am an expert on spanking. Not just like as a metaphor, but literally an expert. If someone needed a witness to something, I would be the person you would call to testify. I am an expert at something at 21 years of age.

I do not make this claim to brag or anything of that nature, I simply am intrigued by it. So there is a claim/theory out there that says to be an expert at something you have to devote 10,000 hours to it, and based on my rudimentary math in the shower, I surpassed that number a long time ago. I will break down the math shortly.

So what got me thinking about this was a conversation I had with Agent Burke (guy I'm dating) who I had a... slightly unsuccessful date with last night. Unsuccessful is not really the right term to use, but it just didn't go the way that I think either of us wanted and then there was some weirdness last night... but that's a story for another time. We talked today again though and things are looking good :). Anyway, it came out that Agent Burke is not actually a "spanko" in the way that I am. He is turned on by spanking an it interests him, but in a much more purely sexual way, and frequently a kinkier way. And regardless of what his interest in it is, he is pretty much a newbie- not horrible by any means, but definitely pretty new. But he considers me to be this crazy expert. Granted, I am basically a spanking zealot more than a spank-o, but I don't think there is "nothing about spanking" that I "don't know" as he said last night when I said that I couldn't explain a concept I was trying to get out, that a top had to explain it. (for the record, I was able to explain it). Clearly there are things I haven't experienced... though it is true that there aren't many things that are completely foreign to me- but there are some.

One of the interesting things for me, is coming off this weekend, that seems so strange. I do consider myself to be somewhat of an expert, but I loved playing with and getting to spend time with people who are true experts. Paul (Tubaman) is absolutely an expert at spanking, and is phenomenal at what he does. I suspect that this weekend, Todd will be similar in some ways. Fineous is the best there is (according to both Paul and Erica Scott!) with floggers, and CC is the best at the style he does. And I loved being able to feel a bit like a newbie again and get to learn from these people. And then to come back to a situation where I find myself almost as a teacher... its not one that I would have chosen, but it seems to have chosen me :). Anyway...

But that doesn't mean that I'm not an expert too. Even if I am only 21 (Agent Burke is 31 btw).

So here is how I broke down the hours.
My life thus far has had:
7,947 days or 190,728 hours

to be an expert I need 10,000 hours (which, in this situation btw, would be 5% of my life)

So lets say that from age 5 (when I feel most certain I can say I was aware of my spanking interest, though it was probably earlier) to age 10 (when I got the internet) I spent 1 hour per day thinking about spanking. This of course is an extremely conservative estimate knowing what I did, but I also know that it is bold to say that I  thought about spanking every day as a six year old, so we'll say 1 hour on average. That would be
365 hours/year x 5 years = 1825 hours

Ok, so then from age 10 to 13 lets say 3 hours per day. At this point I was on the internet but not yet sexually aware.
365 x 3= 1095 hours per year x 3 years =3285 hours

So in total, at age 13, I had spent 5,110 hours on spanking (half way there!)

Things definitely get kicked up a notch or two at 13. I started looking more aggressively at porn. I started reading fiction and fan fiction (which is when we start getting 13 hours and 15 hours a day type situations). I also was self spanking (I should have mentioned that at least an attempt at something similar to field work should be required for the title of expert.) So lets say 5 hours per day. And I know I had school, but I would get home at 3 and read fanfiction until 10 many days. Also at this time I started masturbating. And lets end this time period at 19 (really it should be 18, but then I'd have to split hairs)
365 x 5= 1825 hours per year x 6 years = 10,950 hours

Total by age 19: 16,060 hours. Wohoo I'm an expert!

And then I get my first real spanking, lol. The last 3 years (my three year anniversary is coming up) have seen my relationships, my actual spankings, total addictions to fanfiction and other fiction, this blog, and chat amongst other things. I don't want to go up much from 5 hours per day though- b/c that's over a fifth of the day. So lets just say 6 hours per day.
365 x 6 = 2190 hours per year x 3 years = 6,570 hours

So according to my completely unscientific calculations, I have spent 22,630 hours on spanking in my life. (or approx 10%)

I'm certain that there are LOTS of people that know more and have done more and have spent longer on this than I have, even though I had the running head start of the internet. But I highly doubt there is anyone my age who has. :)

And yeah, this is what I have been doing instead of my paper. Fuck. or Fuck ya!

Princess Kelley


  1. Hi Kelley,

    What fun you've had! I love reading about your adventures.

    If you're going to invest the time and effort necessary to become an expert in something, it might as well be a topic you love. From one spanking expert to another, I'm pleased to know that the next generation is in such fine hands.

    Big hugs,

  2. Nicely done, Princess Kelley!


    Carla Marie

  3. Kelley,

    Scientist Niels Bohr defines an expert as: 'A person that has made every possible mistake within his/her field'

    Does that relate to your expertise?


  4. Hey, Kelley! I just wanted to let you know that I reblogged a photo of you that I found on someone else's Tumblr blog. You can find it here. Maybe it's one of your lost photos?



  5. Pink- I can not figure out how to get in touch with you, so I posted this on your most recent post and will do it here as well.

    LMFAO! Ok, so this photo has been like haunting me the last two days. And this is so crazy. So yesterday a friend messaged me telling me that he found my photo on 3 different tumbler accounts, none of which linked to me or credited me in any way. This pisses me off, and I try very hard to keep my photos restricted (its fine since you told me), so I emailed them and asked them to remove the picture or credit me (one of the sites you linked from actually), and they were all exceedingly polite.

    Then today I was talking to this guy I've started dating and we were talking about things I like a lot, and he mentioned a tumblr and I immediately was like, ugh! those things are killing me right now! And he said, no check this one out you'll like it. And it was YOURS!!! lol, and I spent an hour on it today and LOVE it. :) What a crazy coincidence! :)
    Thank you for sharing my picture, I'm glad you think its worthy of posting, and feel free to do so in the future- just shoot me an email if you do.


    PSS. I found all of my lost photos actually, but this one was one of them. :) And biggest hugs and thanks for commenting!